This post outlines some of the most eye-opening lessons I’ve learned by living alone. I hope that by sharing my experience, others on their own solo journeys will be inspired to make their own self-discoveries!
People may live alone for a whole slew of different reasons. Some by choice, others maybe not. One thing is for certain though: life is what you make it. By embracing the experience of living alone, you will learn so much about yourself. Seeing as you spend more time with yourself than literally anyone else, learning to love hanging out with yourself can be pretty life-changing.
The first time I moved out on my own, I was in my late twenties. Looking back, I was a nervous mess, constantly either bored or trying to distract myself with mindless scrolling.
It may have just been part of the process, but now that I’ve fully embraced living alone (with my dog), I know myself better than I ever had before. As a result, I also like myself more than ever. Spending time on my own is now something I look forward to.
If you are preparing to live alone for the first time or have recently moved into your first place on your own, I’m so excited for you! It might not feel like one of the best decisions you’ve ever made yet, but I’m hoping you’ll get there soon.
Here are eleven ways living alone can change your life:
1. You learn how to be alone with your own thoughts
Do you find yourself regularly scrolling endlessly through social media, obsessed with online shopping or constantly binge-watching tv in your free time? After a long day of work or emotional heavy lifting, it feels so nice to do something mind-numbing, doesn’t it?
I did this for months after my last breakup. Keeping my mind constantly focused on something light and unimportant felt like the only way I could keep myself from spiraling into a vortex of overthinking and anxiety.
Needing a distraction to help you adjust to new circumstances is your own business. Take as little or as long as you need but listen: Learning to be alone with your own thoughts is life-changing.
By practicing not distracting yourself, you can finally tune into how you’re really feeling.
- What triggered that really crabby mood that came seemingly out of nowhere? What can you do to prevent that from happening in the future? What do you need to work through it?
- Now that there’s no one else around to entertain or distract you, what do you want to do? What do you enjoy doing most?
- With time to yourself, in what ways could you better yourself that would make you happier?
- If you find yourself with more free time than you had before, use that time to decide on personal goals and take steps to achieve them.
After months of working on inward reflection, I’m in an entirely new headspace than I’ve ever experienced before. I look forward to the evening and weekends I get on my own now.
Consider introducing some meditation, journaling or goal setting into your weekly routine. The world better look out! The best version of you yet is in the making.
2. You learn what makes you hard to live with
I know, I know, we’d all like to think we’re the easiest person to live with because we live with ourselves every day and it’s going fine, right?
After only having experienced living with family and a partner, living alone highlighted some areas that would have been difficult to learn otherwise. It’s easy to blame other people for things that bother you day-to-day until you’re the only one around.
For example, I think it’s so gross when the salad dressing lids get all gunky from the drippy dressing that dries up. I live alone. The salad dressing bottles get gross. I’m indisputably the one to blame here.
Perhaps I owe my brother an apology (don’t tell him I said that).
Other things I didn’t know about myself:
- I’m terrible about cleaning up after mealtime and hate washing dishes
- I overbuy certain groceries. Like seriously, I need to take inventory before heading to the grocery store. No one needs 4 bags of ground flaxseed. That’s just ridiculous.
- In order for the shower curtain liner to remain white, one must wash it. I’m the one who needs to wash it.
- I use too much paper towel.
Stay open to observing yourself and you can notice all kinds of things that had previously been covered up by living with others.
3. You learn what you want in a future roommate (or if you ever want one again)
For those readers who are single or dating and would like to move in with a partner one day, living alone is a fantastic way to identify what kinds of living habits you’d like in a partner.
Having no choice but to do everything on your own teaches you how you like things. For example:
- I like when the blinds and curtains are shut at night for privacy and like them opened in the morning for natural light.
- It drives me nuts when lights are left on in rooms I’m not using. A person who leaves every light in the house on at the same time would make me crazy.
- For goodness sake, shut the toilet lid. I have toothbrushes and face lotions in the same tiny bathroom. Don’t mix around your poop water so it can spray into the air on all my things.
By living alone, you build up routines and preferences that you may have not had control over when sharing a living space. This can be liberating, but also (unintentionally) establish new boundaries that you may have not known about yourself before.
You may even find yourself loving the solo life so much that you can’t imagine sharing your living space with another person again! Don’t close off your options too quickly, but definitely enjoy your space while you’ve got it.
Read More: The Ultimate Guide: How to Live Alone
4. You learn about what kinds of qualities you want in a partner
Living alone isn’t just a window into how you like your house to run. Living alone teaches you about how you like to live your life. When you have a Saturday night to yourself, what do you choose to do?
Over time, you may discover new values you enjoy living by. If the time comes that you want to bring a partner into your life, you’ll have a better idea of what you’re looking for in a good match.
You may even learn you have some dealbreakers just by knowing more about yourself.
5. You learn to make your own rules
Living alone can be the most exhilarating experience because you can do whatever you want to do. Doing your own thing without the judgment or consideration of others is freeing.
Want to walk around the house naked? Do it.
Is the dog allowed on the furniture? Completely up to you.
What’s an acceptable temperature for the heat to be set to? Up to you and your budget.
Will anyone shout at you in the morning for going to bed with a sink full of dirty dishes? Only if mom decides to come over unannounced.
In my experience, the ability to live to my own rules was one of the best things that could have ever happened for my mental health. After a several-year slump of depression and anxiety, a few months of living in a place run by my own rules helped me start feeling like myself again.
6. Are you more of an introvert or extrovert?
You may already know this about yourself. You may think you know this about yourself. Living alone will give you a brand new angle.
I’d always believed myself to be extroverted and was constantly immersed in social situations. At work, at school, at home – all the time.
Now that I live alone, I see that I certainly have extroverted tendencies, but may be more of an introvert. I love catching up with friends and getting dressed up for a night out. I also love staying in and hanging out with my dog more than ever before. Maybe I’ll read a good book. Or better yet, listen to a good audiobook while I work on a creative project I’ve been meaning to get to. Or jam out to tunes while cooking a new healthy recipe. Will I end up dancing with my dog? Absolutely. Sounds like the best kind of night to me.
Turns out I can be equally, if not more, mentally recharged by just hanging out with myself. It’s difficult to learn this about yourself until you have the space to enjoy either lifestyle.
Read More: 13 Safety Tips for Living Alone for the First Time
7. You discover who you really are
One of the biggest reasons I like myself more since I started living alone is that I’m way more fun. You know all those things you do when no one is watching? You can do those things pretty much all the time.
Yes, use the broom as a microphone.
Slide across the floor in your socks and underwear like Tom Cruise.
Feel free to provide commentary on your day in any accent you’d like.
Have entire conversations with your dog.
Eat a piece of candy before you’ve even had breakfast.
If you live with someone again in the future, they should be honored to be in such extraordinarily fun company all the time.
8. You can get really good at your hobbies
Okay, you can do this when you live with someone too, but for me, it was more difficult. It’s easier to kick yourself into full gear and give a hobby your all when there’s no one else around to judge or distract you.
If you’ve always wanted to get in good shape, but hate the gym, now is the time. Stream a workout video on your tv, wear whatever you want and crush that workout right in your living room.
Always wanted to learn the guitar but your roommates made fun of you for practicing? Now you can play through the same verse 400 times and you won’t hear a peep from anyone.
Want to raise a houseplant botanical garden in your home? Same. The only limits are the ones you set for yourself (and to be honest, I’m not sure one can have too many houseplants).
Living alone may give you the time and space you need for your hobbies to flourish.
9. You have the freedom to unleash your creativity
When you’ve got your own place, the opportunity to get creative increases exponentially.
Instead of buying wall art, try buying a pretty, inexpensive frame from a thrift store and creating your own art. Google ideas! The options go far past traditional painting or drawing, like pressing flowers or one-line art. You can try just pouring paint on a canvas. The sky’s the limit.
Decorating your place to feel like your own sanctuary is only limited by your imagination and budget. Go crazy on Pinterest by adding all the ideas you love to a vision board, then make it a reality!
No one will be around to judge you if you want to try some weird culinary experiments in the kitchen. Get clever and enjoy yourself.
For me, the creative juices keep flowing more and more the longer I’m on my own. Between books, videos, travel and freedom, I feel like fun ideas pop into my head more often than I can keep up with.
10. Your independence flourishes
Nothing teaches you how to do things better than being forced to do them. When you live alone, everything that needs doing is done by you. It’s up to you to do all the household chores and call the right people when something breaks.
Yes, it can feel like a lot sometimes. More often than not though, it’s empowering to have control over your space.
When decisions need making, it’s you who gets to make them. It’s interesting to reflect on how much you’ve relied on other people’s input in the past when you get to make all the decisions yourself.
It’s empowering to know that you CAN handle everything on your own when you have to.
Read More: Independent Woman Quotes When You Need a Surge of Motivation
11. You become more self-aware
For some, this comes easily. For others, it takes a little more work. Living alone gives you the time to reflect on who you are and how you want to live your life. The best part is you can make it a reality without anyone slowing you down.
In my experience, nothing helps you connect with yourself better than learning what makes you happy and doing those things. Living alone provides ample opportunity to work on this.
You are awesome.
And you’re brave for going on this solo adventure. You’re independent for taking care of yourself. You’re creative to make a place you love spending time in. You’re strong for setting boundaries on how you live your life.
The lessons you learn living alone can be carried with you for the rest of your life. In my opinion, many of the experiences you have will make you a better, stronger, and more independent person. Who doesn’t want that?!
Now go create the life you want for yourself. Ask for your dog’s humble opinion. Or make decisions in your underwear. Hey, have some Halloween candy for breakfast. You’ve got this!
Sincerely,
Leave a Reply